Here's what I know.
You are Isaac. Your mom is the enemy. Little Steven is your psychic friend. He spits homing bullets. You shoot tears.
There are other friends besides Little Steven. I'll write them as I find out who they are.
Greed is the most annoying enemy. Sometimes there are lots of greeds.
When you die, you write it in your diary and leave all your money to your cat, Guppy.
Wes says that he will feed the pets once his mom kills him.
I will tell you more soon.
He just said "whoops, stepped on a spider. As you will." So I guess spiders are bad to step on? In some games, you're supposed to.
Also, he just said, "I got a ham!" I asked what a ham does. He said he actually got a dog biscuit, not a ham. I asked what a dog biscuit does. He said "HP up."
There seem to be a lot of things besides a dog biscuit you can get that can give you skills. I could look it up, but it's funnier to ask Wes. I'll keep asking him what things he has and what skills they gave him. I remember that one was cancer and it made him cry more tears than usual.
Saturday, January 31, 2015
Song Review: Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes
Yesterday, I was walking by a bar (The Ivory Room in Madison) and I heard a substantial quantity of full-ass-grown adults singing "Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes."
First of all, I don't know why, and didn't go find out, because I was really cold.
Second of all, I figured out why this song bothers me. Here's why: the notes go in the wrong order. The body parts go as follows:
Head (highest)
Shoulders (second highest)
Knees (third highest)
Toes (lowest).
However, the notes go as follows:
Head (second highest)
Shoulders (begins on the highest note)
Knees (begins on the third highest note)
Toes (begins on the lowest note)
Clearly, the notes for "head" and "shoulders" need to be reversed. Otherwise, it's really confusing as a way of benchmarking where the body parts are. If I were learning the body parts from this song, I would probably get them wrong all the time and always conflate heads and shoulders.
First of all, I don't know why, and didn't go find out, because I was really cold.
Second of all, I figured out why this song bothers me. Here's why: the notes go in the wrong order. The body parts go as follows:
Head (highest)
Shoulders (second highest)
Knees (third highest)
Toes (lowest).
However, the notes go as follows:
Head (second highest)
Shoulders (begins on the highest note)
Knees (begins on the third highest note)
Toes (begins on the lowest note)
Clearly, the notes for "head" and "shoulders" need to be reversed. Otherwise, it's really confusing as a way of benchmarking where the body parts are. If I were learning the body parts from this song, I would probably get them wrong all the time and always conflate heads and shoulders.
Movie Review: Beetlejuice (1988)
I liked this movie except for the parts that had Beetlejuice in it. I mean Betelgeuse. The movie was non-committal on what his actual name was, despite the fact that his name contained all his power.
Beetlejuice (as I will call him for the sake of consistency) is a creepy womanizer who died doing something green and prisony. The movie takes place in the afterlife, or something close to it, where everyone except the protagonists' deaths are made apparent by their appearances.
The movie uses claymation in a way that reminded me a bit of Evil Dead, but I don't think it was done for budgetary reasons, which I understand is why Evil Dead did it. It also did some interesting things with perspective visually and played with your idea of what was real and what was fake, which became most notable when they kept hanging out inside a toy village.
There is an old lady named Juno who died of smoking too much. She is extremely busy, and the waiting room has over nine billion waiters in it, though you can only really see a few at a time. You are only allowed to see her three times ever. We see her more than three times in the movie. I wish I only saw Beetlejuice three times in the movie.
Another thing about her is that the protagonists, who died drowning but were not wet, wake up after dying basically in or near their house, I forget. However, the football players who died in a vehicle accident and think all authority figures are their coach all seem to have materialized directly in that room. They also need to use the restroom, despite no longer having functional bladders.
I totally called that the shrimp were not shrimp. I did not call that the shrimp were hands.
Alec Baldwin is in this movie, but I didn't recognize him for a while because his voice sounded different, and also everything else about him looked different. His primary character trait was that he was bad at reading. Both bad at pronouncing words he looks at and bad at remembering to read very important books, despite having little else to do besides end up on Saturn.
Oh yeah. But I forgot to talk about Beetlejuice (the character). He was a nasty-ass creep. He kept trying to touch women in the butt and he was really gross. There was a horrible scene where he forces a kid, played by Winona Ryder, to marry him in exchange for her dead friends not becoming double-dead. She agrees to do so, and then all the famous wedding music plays in minor keys and some confusing shit happens and then they're not married or something. She can also fly and stops being a goth, so I think she died.
After the movie was over, I researched how to shrink heads. It turns out you don't use magic dust to do so.
Whoa, I just got distracted by reading about Geena Davis. She played one of my favorite characters in this movie. It turns out she was a women's archery Olympics team semi-finalist, is a member of Mensa, and is starting a film festival this year (2015) to encourage diversity in the cast and crew of films. I am hugely in favor of Geena Davis. She makes up for Beetlejuice, who is probably the grossest character I've seen in a movie in a while.
Thus concludes my review of Beetlejuice. I hope in the sequel he stops being a nasty womanizer and starts being a nice guy who helps Geena Davis with her film festival and doesn't sit with his legs out on the subway and hit on underaged kids and touch people's butts.
Beetlejuice (as I will call him for the sake of consistency) is a creepy womanizer who died doing something green and prisony. The movie takes place in the afterlife, or something close to it, where everyone except the protagonists' deaths are made apparent by their appearances.
The movie uses claymation in a way that reminded me a bit of Evil Dead, but I don't think it was done for budgetary reasons, which I understand is why Evil Dead did it. It also did some interesting things with perspective visually and played with your idea of what was real and what was fake, which became most notable when they kept hanging out inside a toy village.
There is an old lady named Juno who died of smoking too much. She is extremely busy, and the waiting room has over nine billion waiters in it, though you can only really see a few at a time. You are only allowed to see her three times ever. We see her more than three times in the movie. I wish I only saw Beetlejuice three times in the movie.
Another thing about her is that the protagonists, who died drowning but were not wet, wake up after dying basically in or near their house, I forget. However, the football players who died in a vehicle accident and think all authority figures are their coach all seem to have materialized directly in that room. They also need to use the restroom, despite no longer having functional bladders.
I totally called that the shrimp were not shrimp. I did not call that the shrimp were hands.
Alec Baldwin is in this movie, but I didn't recognize him for a while because his voice sounded different, and also everything else about him looked different. His primary character trait was that he was bad at reading. Both bad at pronouncing words he looks at and bad at remembering to read very important books, despite having little else to do besides end up on Saturn.
Oh yeah. But I forgot to talk about Beetlejuice (the character). He was a nasty-ass creep. He kept trying to touch women in the butt and he was really gross. There was a horrible scene where he forces a kid, played by Winona Ryder, to marry him in exchange for her dead friends not becoming double-dead. She agrees to do so, and then all the famous wedding music plays in minor keys and some confusing shit happens and then they're not married or something. She can also fly and stops being a goth, so I think she died.
After the movie was over, I researched how to shrink heads. It turns out you don't use magic dust to do so.
Whoa, I just got distracted by reading about Geena Davis. She played one of my favorite characters in this movie. It turns out she was a women's archery Olympics team semi-finalist, is a member of Mensa, and is starting a film festival this year (2015) to encourage diversity in the cast and crew of films. I am hugely in favor of Geena Davis. She makes up for Beetlejuice, who is probably the grossest character I've seen in a movie in a while.
Thus concludes my review of Beetlejuice. I hope in the sequel he stops being a nasty womanizer and starts being a nice guy who helps Geena Davis with her film festival and doesn't sit with his legs out on the subway and hit on underaged kids and touch people's butts.
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