I toyed with a couple ideas for this review.
The first would be an alternate ending. Instead of _______, we'd find out that Sandra's boss was actually a cellophane-thin allegory for God or Satan or whatever, and that this was all the afterlife and this is how shit goes. People had to vote on whether she went to heaven or hell. If she goes to heaven, there's a fairly good chance that someone else has to go to hell instead. If she goes to heaven, the quality of heaven will be much worse, not only for her (because everyone will hate her), but also for everyone else, in that it would transform from a cloud place with angels and harps and shit to instead just a street in Belgium where there's traffic and laundromats and buzzers and elevators don't work. You know, a modern-day sort of Job story.
It could have even been reworked into a more-Job-story if I started my ending slightly earlier.
However, I actually liked the real ending more than my fake one, but I understand it's taboo to reveal spoilers, so humbug. Watch it and we'll talk about that.
My second thought was the rewrite this story as it would have gone if it took place in the US, specifically someplace like New York or New Jersey. For starters, her spiel would be different. "Starters" is a weird word. But yeah, here's basically her current schtick, followed by everyone's retort:
Sandra: Hi. I just wanted to talk to you about Monday. There's going to be another vote. I'm worried that Jean-Marc might have pointed out to you that the boss could fire someone else if I stay. Anyway, please vote to let me keep my job instead of you getting your bonus.
Other person: How many other people are going to vote for that?
Sandra: X number.
Other person: No because I need to buy some dumb thing that's not really as good an excuse as you getting a whole salary or yes because I'm not an asshole.
Sandra: K bye.
In the US, Sandra would have used way more rhetorical tactics. I mean, she barely used any anyway. She went all the way to their house and then was like "vote for me and I am not going to give any reason why." I would have been like:
"Hi! How are you? Let's go talk somewhere not near your manipulative spouse. I've missed you in the time that I was out! But I'm better now and really excited to get back to work. Except that I can't, because my understanding is that everyone voted to make me leave so they could get their bonuses. And I understand that, to a degree. But listen. Whatever you are about to say, you're only losing 1,000 euros. I'm losing 20,000 or however many euros. I have two kids and my husband works at a diner. Yeah, I know you did relatively fine in the time that I was out. It's not about that. It's about human decency and compassion. And I'm pleading with you to exercise that. If I come back, there will be something in it for you. I'll help you out with your job to some capacity that we can determine at a later date (I will only suggest this if they still seem resistant)."
Then they would not have asked how many people are voting. Instead, they would have said "listen, Jean-Marc pointed out that if you aren't fired, since like you said sixteen people were capable of doing the work, they're just gonna fire someone else."
Then I would have been like "shit. You're right. Then let's try to work out a compromise in which I can come back for more than one freaking day, like maybe two months. In that time I will give everyone proper training and work half-days so that at least my kids can eat. And I will spend the second half of every day job hunting. Everyone gets to keep their bonus and I get severance."
Then they would have said "Deal. I will make that suggestion."
Then I would not have argued that I'm that passionate about solar panels because let's get real. I'm not. Then I would have gotten a sweet job in some other field due to sixteen glowing job recommendations.
Except actually I think the only part of that that would have happened is maybe the first part, and then people would be turned off by my bluntness and not know what to say back. And really, actually, I probably would have clammed up, because I'd have, you know, months of serious depression behind me and am extremely bad at spur of the moment thinking/speaking.
So.
Instead of those two ideas, I just want to say that this movie was an ingenious depiction of:
1. Human fuckin' nature
and
2. Why we should never do anything toxic for any longer than we have to.
It also had a baller soundtrack, which was the second half of three songs and otherwise silence, which is very non-distracting for me. Due to the fact that this movie made me think a lot and broke my writer's block, I give it one million stars and will encourage both my dog and my cat to watch it.
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