Family Member Type Review: Cousins, Aunts, and Uncles

You know what?

Lately, I've been talking a lot to my cousins.

I have nine first cousins, seven first cousins once removed, and five second cousins. I have more cousins than that, but I never see them or haven't met them.

Anyway, to a person, my cousins are AWESOME.

Cousins are cool because they aren't your siblings, so they don't remember most of the worst things you ever did, or worst traits you ever had. Here's a list of things that my cousins don't know about me, unless they read this:

• That I used to sing "I Dreamed a Dream" from Les Miserables really loudly several times in a row every night when I was thirteen with a cassette tape backing me up.
• That I have so much trouble dealing with change that I refused to go in certain rooms in my house, and since my mom moved out, I officially never did.
• That I used to be kind of a paper hoarder.
• How long I went believing in the tooth fairy (answer: part of me still does, because daggummit, it's not like I got an Easter bunny or a Santa Claus).

That is not to say that siblings are not great. Siblings are GREAT. They are just a different variety of great, which I will save for another review on another day.

Cousins are also cool because they can be very honest and can be easy to talk to, and there isn't a lot of reading into your actions or judgment or anything. If I didn't respect my cousins' privacy so much, I would list every cousin here and why I think they are so cool. 

I might have to go to a funeral soon, though I hope I do not have to go to any funerals for a really long time. But I've been thinking that when I inevitably do have to go, which is hopefully a long time in the future, it will be really, really nice to see my cousins.

For the record, I am also a huge fan of aunts and uncles. I have ten aunts and uncles, and one great-aunt (I'm not clear about my dad's dad's side, because he had about thirteen half-siblings who were all older than he was). Every one of my aunts and uncles are great. 

If I had a machine that could generate aunts, uncles, and cousins, I would generate about one every six months. If I had a machine that could transport aunts, uncles, and cousins for free, I would transport one every time I talked to one, so that I could give them a hug and tell them in person how great they are.

In conclusion, if you do not have any aunts, uncles, or cousins, I would recommend getting one. I will happily lend you myself as a surrogate.